o.O
Where to start...
...???
I have met someone. To me he is perfect; just what I have been looking for. GREAT sense of humor, personality; he is smart, compassionate...just PERFECT for me. At least...I want to believe that he is. I want to believe that things will be completely different than my previous relationships. I am doing my best to stay positive about this one. Yet...I cannot help but worry that the hurt I endured in the past will come back. I have not been letting it get me down, but I cannot say that it does not bother me every once in a while. My heart tells me that this one is different. He definitely treats me like no one has before.
Third time's a charm?
...???
I have met someone. To me he is perfect; just what I have been looking for. GREAT sense of humor, personality; he is smart, compassionate...just PERFECT for me. At least...I want to believe that he is. I want to believe that things will be completely different than my previous relationships. I am doing my best to stay positive about this one. Yet...I cannot help but worry that the hurt I endured in the past will come back. I have not been letting it get me down, but I cannot say that it does not bother me every once in a while. My heart tells me that this one is different. He definitely treats me like no one has before.
Third time's a charm?
*sighs*
My first love is moving back into town... I am really not sure about my feelings at the moment, but I do know that once I did find out about this, my stomach turned upside down. I know for a fact that he is going to contact me, because we are friends...but the thing is, I am not sure how things will turn out. *sighs*
"One trick pony"
(I really am positive that he does not have one of these, but I do not care. I just want to get the word out, and spread it EVERYWHERE possible. =P Yeah, I seem like a bitch, but uh...he deserves it! )
Wow, I am really not sure where I should begin this...
"Life is s**t and s**t happens", no dear, I believe that life is good, and that you are a worthless piece of s**t.
On top of that, you ask me why I hate you?!? You already know the answer to that question, ass.
For you to f**king use me, after I have been so damn good to you, I am glad that your ass left like you did, because if I would have known about any of the stuff that I have since found out about you then, your ass would have been mine. I might be "petty" for writing all of this out, but hell I want to be petty and tell the whole world what a piece of s**t you really are.
I take you into my apartment, feed you, clothe you, the works... I work my ass off to provide for us both for over a whole damn year, while your ass just sat at home, on the computer and on the X Box all day and all night, not even attempting to find a job, come to find out, mainly because you are incapable of getting a job. Honorable discharge from the military?!? LMFAO!!! I liked that lie the best of all.... I think you would be the first sociopath, since that is what they diagnosed you as, that they "honorably discharged" from the military! O.O Hope that one made it into the book of world records...
The girl you lived with before kicked you out of the apartment just so her friend could live there instead?!? It was more like your girlfriend broke up with your ass for another GIRL, and shipped out your ass a packing.
Hmmm, what else could I add here?...
Oh...right...I loved it how Dan had to end up writing your "break up" letter, which no offense or anything but I thought it was fake and a load of crap when I finished reading it in the first place, and God knows what else you put Dan up to doing to me. Which, by the way, might I add, that little stunt was pathetic.
I also loved how you had to use Dan, right after his mother died. That was pretty damn low if you ask me. You could care less though. You went ahead and stayed with him for a week, using up his text messages, eating his food, not to mention absconding his computer and t.v. for yet again your own use. But it did not stop there did it...after you talked him into meeting Joy half way to drop your ass off, not to mention that you had promised gas money to him, yet when you reach your destination, Dan was not given the money, and it was NEVER intended to be given to him was it, Josh? By the grace of God, Dan did make it back home just in case you are curious...
What else, hmm? Being the two-faced person that you are, you had to talk about my sister, our friends, and myself behind our backs. You love talking badly about people, yet you never once talked badly about yourself. You should have, you know? You have done/said a lot of bad things to/about good people. You do not deserve anything at all. You are a disgrace to...well everything. And you did not deserve any of their friendships because you did nothing but take all of the nice things they did for you and spit it back in their faces.
I am not sure as to how long you and Joy have been "dating", and honestly I could care less, but hopefully for her sake, you will make the right decisions, this time by telling the truth about yourself. Or...she could just read this and if she has a good head on her shoulders, she will do the right thing and send your ass packing too. (Joy, if you are reading this then I hope that you do leave his ass, because who's to say that he will not do to you what he did to me?!? Not to mention that he does not have that great of a history as it is...and who's to say that he does not already have you wrapped around his finger? I would think about things before you let him live with you...)
Am I doing this out of hurt? Nope...I am WAY passed being hurt here. This is all out of pure hate. Normally I do not hate anyone, but for you I definitely can make an exception...and I am very sure that I am not the only one making this exception...my sister and Dan are as well.
Yeah, more than likely what will happen here is that you will just go on, doing what you do because you know of no other way to live in life. You do not care, so you will continue to do it until the day that you die. What a miserable life you are leading...which could be why you may believe that "life is s**t and s**t happens". It is only that way for you because you choose it to be. Drama this and drama that...stop creating it and maybe life will not be so s**tty to you. Have fun with that....
And if there are some things that I left out, mainly because I do not know about them yet, then let's just leave it at that. I do not want to have to sit here for another ten minutes typing out things that I am want to say, looking like a bitch. I am not that kind of a person, but when and if it comes down to it, I can be if the situation presents itself to me, which it did.
So, to sum it all up for you…everyone here knows that you are a pathetic loser. Plain and simple. And that is all you will ever be. You have no ambition in life. You are abusing the precious breath God has given you. And when the situation arises where you have no where to turn and no new victim to save you, don’t come running back here to us. We may be good people (despite what you apparently have to say about us), but you better make damn sure that we will not be fooled or tricked again. Game over.
Wow, I am really not sure where I should begin this...
"Life is s**t and s**t happens", no dear, I believe that life is good, and that you are a worthless piece of s**t.
On top of that, you ask me why I hate you?!? You already know the answer to that question, ass.
For you to f**king use me, after I have been so damn good to you, I am glad that your ass left like you did, because if I would have known about any of the stuff that I have since found out about you then, your ass would have been mine. I might be "petty" for writing all of this out, but hell I want to be petty and tell the whole world what a piece of s**t you really are.
I take you into my apartment, feed you, clothe you, the works... I work my ass off to provide for us both for over a whole damn year, while your ass just sat at home, on the computer and on the X Box all day and all night, not even attempting to find a job, come to find out, mainly because you are incapable of getting a job. Honorable discharge from the military?!? LMFAO!!! I liked that lie the best of all.... I think you would be the first sociopath, since that is what they diagnosed you as, that they "honorably discharged" from the military! O.O Hope that one made it into the book of world records...
The girl you lived with before kicked you out of the apartment just so her friend could live there instead?!? It was more like your girlfriend broke up with your ass for another GIRL, and shipped out your ass a packing.
Hmmm, what else could I add here?...
Oh...right...I loved it how Dan had to end up writing your "break up" letter, which no offense or anything but I thought it was fake and a load of crap when I finished reading it in the first place, and God knows what else you put Dan up to doing to me. Which, by the way, might I add, that little stunt was pathetic.
I also loved how you had to use Dan, right after his mother died. That was pretty damn low if you ask me. You could care less though. You went ahead and stayed with him for a week, using up his text messages, eating his food, not to mention absconding his computer and t.v. for yet again your own use. But it did not stop there did it...after you talked him into meeting Joy half way to drop your ass off, not to mention that you had promised gas money to him, yet when you reach your destination, Dan was not given the money, and it was NEVER intended to be given to him was it, Josh? By the grace of God, Dan did make it back home just in case you are curious...
What else, hmm? Being the two-faced person that you are, you had to talk about my sister, our friends, and myself behind our backs. You love talking badly about people, yet you never once talked badly about yourself. You should have, you know? You have done/said a lot of bad things to/about good people. You do not deserve anything at all. You are a disgrace to...well everything. And you did not deserve any of their friendships because you did nothing but take all of the nice things they did for you and spit it back in their faces.
I am not sure as to how long you and Joy have been "dating", and honestly I could care less, but hopefully for her sake, you will make the right decisions, this time by telling the truth about yourself. Or...she could just read this and if she has a good head on her shoulders, she will do the right thing and send your ass packing too. (Joy, if you are reading this then I hope that you do leave his ass, because who's to say that he will not do to you what he did to me?!? Not to mention that he does not have that great of a history as it is...and who's to say that he does not already have you wrapped around his finger? I would think about things before you let him live with you...)
Am I doing this out of hurt? Nope...I am WAY passed being hurt here. This is all out of pure hate. Normally I do not hate anyone, but for you I definitely can make an exception...and I am very sure that I am not the only one making this exception...my sister and Dan are as well.
Yeah, more than likely what will happen here is that you will just go on, doing what you do because you know of no other way to live in life. You do not care, so you will continue to do it until the day that you die. What a miserable life you are leading...which could be why you may believe that "life is s**t and s**t happens". It is only that way for you because you choose it to be. Drama this and drama that...stop creating it and maybe life will not be so s**tty to you. Have fun with that....
And if there are some things that I left out, mainly because I do not know about them yet, then let's just leave it at that. I do not want to have to sit here for another ten minutes typing out things that I am want to say, looking like a bitch. I am not that kind of a person, but when and if it comes down to it, I can be if the situation presents itself to me, which it did.
So, to sum it all up for you…everyone here knows that you are a pathetic loser. Plain and simple. And that is all you will ever be. You have no ambition in life. You are abusing the precious breath God has given you. And when the situation arises where you have no where to turn and no new victim to save you, don’t come running back here to us. We may be good people (despite what you apparently have to say about us), but you better make damn sure that we will not be fooled or tricked again. Game over.
The past few days...
...have really sucked, mainly because I am going through a break up. =/ I am doing better than I expected. I have gone through this once before, so I know how to keep my mind off of things. I have been picking up extra days to work, which is not out the norm for me anyways, but it has been helping me cope with things. Not sure what else to say, so I am going to get off of here and see what I can get myself into! XD Later!
*~*Heather*~*
*~*Heather*~*
Dress Code
So apparently, the "important people" at work have the say so in telling you what to wear while attending a class, inservice, meeting, etc...that has to do with the hospital. That is a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. I am not going to take out my facial piercings just to go to a damn meeting, wear my hair a certain way, or wear whatever clothing they are wanting me to wear. It is my business to come in, wearing booty shorts(I would NEVER be caught in those, but I am just trying to make my point here) if I damn well please!!! Sure, it would not be a "professional" thing to do, but they sure as hell cannot control what you wear while you are off! I feel violated!!! XD
This is the e-mail I received:
Please remind team members who are attending classes, inservices, etc, and they come from home that the dress code still applies. I've been instructed to invite them to leave if the dress code is not being followed.
Thanx
(^very professional there if I might add; that would be the way that they signed it)
Looks like I will be sent home the next meeting or whatever, because I could care less if I look unprofessional. This really pisses me off.
This is the e-mail I received:
Please remind team members who are attending classes, inservices, etc, and they come from home that the dress code still applies. I've been instructed to invite them to leave if the dress code is not being followed.
Thanx
(^very professional there if I might add; that would be the way that they signed it)
Looks like I will be sent home the next meeting or whatever, because I could care less if I look unprofessional. This really pisses me off.
Wow, this is a lot of writing for me! ^_^
My birthday was on March 11th. It turns out that I caught a lovely stomach virus from one of the patients that I took care of a few days prior to my birthday, so I got sick. >.< I worked six days in a row before my birthday so I could have four days off to enjoy it. Well...let me just say that I spent three days out of the four in bed, sleeping. v.v I was better by my fourth day off, and was able to go out to eat with my mother. That was fun, and something that I have not done in a long time. Other than being sick, I would say that my time off was okay. Josh, my boyfriend, took great care of me while I was sick. That is something that I am definitely not use to...being sick, and having someone wait on me hand and foot. I was very shocked and impressed! =)
As of this week, I started drawing again!!! ^_^ It has been at least 4 years since I have attempted to draw anything. I lost my inspiration to draw during my last relationship and have not been able to find it until now. I finished one drawing this week, but eventually I will have more than that per week. I am hoping at least...we will see?
Josh has not liked being in Tennessee, and most of that would be because he misses his friends in Ohio. From what I gathered, he likes it much better in Ohio. =/ There is just one thing...I know, and I am afraid of this, that I will never be able to leave Tennessee any time soon because of the tension that is still around in my family. It sucks...more for my sister than for me right now, but at the same time I worry as to how things are going to turn out. I am not going to leave Tennessee until I know for sure that things are going to be okay between my family. That is just the way it has to be, and I cannot help it because I do not have much family as it is. I have many fears and worries.... ...one of which being that I could loose the one that I love(Josh) to this, but family does comes first no matter what. The subject of moving has not come up, but I think that it will come up one day. Josh is younger than I, and I love him very much, but I do not think that he would take it very well if I told him that I did not want to move out of Tennessee. At the same time, he should be able respect my decision as to why I would not move. That still does not solve the problem. Our relationship could possibly end. I am probably worrying too much, which is something that I do a lot, but I cannot help but think about it. I am not sure that I could go through something like this again, emotional wise. Many people will probably tell me other wise, but it is different. *sighs*
So much for being happy about finding my inspiration to draw again...
I just worry alot, and most of the time I cannot help it. I always have my guard up, so do not worry about what I say in these posts because most of the time it is my way of venting in order to get the weight off of my shoulders? Make senes? Also, I may not always want to talk about these things to my boyfriend or friends, just because that is the way I am. I do not want to have to talk to someone about my problems, because then, I will feel as if I am complaining about my life to somone else...when they have their own problems to cope with. Yes, sometimes you need that, and it feels good to have someone to talk to; however, I will do that when I feel like I need to do so. I just bottle myself up a lot, and am not able to talk to who it is that I am needing to talk to. Josh is aware of all of this though, but only because he read my myspace blog. That is not a good way to talk about things, but as you have read this far, you see why I did it that way.
Most of my friends, and people that I meet, ask me why I am so quiet at times. Some people are made for talking, others are made for listening. I am a great listener; I was made for it. Listeners like to think things through, give their opinions, maybe even give some great advice at times, or they can just say nothing at all while the person is just finishing up with what they are wanting to say. I am not all that bad for wanting to be a good listener. It is just something that I enjoy, plus I do not always have something interesting to say. Most people could assume that I am stuck-up, but in the end they will see that I talk more once I have warmed up to them.
I have yet to look into computers. Procrastination will get me nowhere; however, I have thought about buying all the necessary equipment to hook up my laptop to the t.v. so I can just use that as my monitor. My laptop is only a year old, and it has several pressure cracks on the screen. Most of this was caused by transporting the laptop to and from the library, when I did not have the internet at home. I am a little upset, but knew that something like this would probably happen in the future. Plus...it is a Dell...enough said there, ay? I would still like to have some sort of back-up plan just in case this laptop does decide to bite the dust. So, there it is...I must go hunt for the computer that is for me!!! O.O I definitely need a gaming computer, because my boyfriend loves his games. I like to play a few of them every once in a while, when I have the time to do so. So, I have some research to do. Any suggestions?!?
I guess that this about sums things up!!! Hope that I did not bore you guys to death! Adios for now!
As of this week, I started drawing again!!! ^_^ It has been at least 4 years since I have attempted to draw anything. I lost my inspiration to draw during my last relationship and have not been able to find it until now. I finished one drawing this week, but eventually I will have more than that per week. I am hoping at least...we will see?
Josh has not liked being in Tennessee, and most of that would be because he misses his friends in Ohio. From what I gathered, he likes it much better in Ohio. =/ There is just one thing...I know, and I am afraid of this, that I will never be able to leave Tennessee any time soon because of the tension that is still around in my family. It sucks...more for my sister than for me right now, but at the same time I worry as to how things are going to turn out. I am not going to leave Tennessee until I know for sure that things are going to be okay between my family. That is just the way it has to be, and I cannot help it because I do not have much family as it is. I have many fears and worries.... ...one of which being that I could loose the one that I love(Josh) to this, but family does comes first no matter what. The subject of moving has not come up, but I think that it will come up one day. Josh is younger than I, and I love him very much, but I do not think that he would take it very well if I told him that I did not want to move out of Tennessee. At the same time, he should be able respect my decision as to why I would not move. That still does not solve the problem. Our relationship could possibly end. I am probably worrying too much, which is something that I do a lot, but I cannot help but think about it. I am not sure that I could go through something like this again, emotional wise. Many people will probably tell me other wise, but it is different. *sighs*
So much for being happy about finding my inspiration to draw again...
I just worry alot, and most of the time I cannot help it. I always have my guard up, so do not worry about what I say in these posts because most of the time it is my way of venting in order to get the weight off of my shoulders? Make senes? Also, I may not always want to talk about these things to my boyfriend or friends, just because that is the way I am. I do not want to have to talk to someone about my problems, because then, I will feel as if I am complaining about my life to somone else...when they have their own problems to cope with. Yes, sometimes you need that, and it feels good to have someone to talk to; however, I will do that when I feel like I need to do so. I just bottle myself up a lot, and am not able to talk to who it is that I am needing to talk to. Josh is aware of all of this though, but only because he read my myspace blog. That is not a good way to talk about things, but as you have read this far, you see why I did it that way.
Most of my friends, and people that I meet, ask me why I am so quiet at times. Some people are made for talking, others are made for listening. I am a great listener; I was made for it. Listeners like to think things through, give their opinions, maybe even give some great advice at times, or they can just say nothing at all while the person is just finishing up with what they are wanting to say. I am not all that bad for wanting to be a good listener. It is just something that I enjoy, plus I do not always have something interesting to say. Most people could assume that I am stuck-up, but in the end they will see that I talk more once I have warmed up to them.
I have yet to look into computers. Procrastination will get me nowhere; however, I have thought about buying all the necessary equipment to hook up my laptop to the t.v. so I can just use that as my monitor. My laptop is only a year old, and it has several pressure cracks on the screen. Most of this was caused by transporting the laptop to and from the library, when I did not have the internet at home. I am a little upset, but knew that something like this would probably happen in the future. Plus...it is a Dell...enough said there, ay? I would still like to have some sort of back-up plan just in case this laptop does decide to bite the dust. So, there it is...I must go hunt for the computer that is for me!!! O.O I definitely need a gaming computer, because my boyfriend loves his games. I like to play a few of them every once in a while, when I have the time to do so. So, I have some research to do. Any suggestions?!?
I guess that this about sums things up!!! Hope that I did not bore you guys to death! Adios for now!
My New Vision of You
This was a let-go poem about my ex. I just started to write, and this is what came out. I had a little help from my sister, but it is mostly my work. I wrote this a while ago; why I decided to post it on here, I have no idea. I just did, so here it is:
My New Vision of You
When you speak of me
It is with a forked tongue
You try to justify your lies
That never seem to end
You make yourself sound so convincing
It makes me wonder what's in your head
And what you think is real
You were always so jacked and high
Yeah go ahead and pour another drink
I don't care what you think
You cheated and lied
Made yourself believe it was all ok
But these thoughts I could not conceive
Until I had enough
Enough of your s**t that made you crazy
I didn't listen then
And I won't listen now
It just boils the malice I have inside
Who are you to tell me
Tell me what is and is not real
When you don't know yourself
What is real and make believe
You keep saying I was a joke to you
Yet you keep talking
Of Low I left you for another
Someone who knew the real me
Someone who wasn't too drunk to care about me
Makes me think you are too jealous
So all you can do is mouth off about me
And try to piss me off
If that's what you want
It is not working
The tables have turned now
Can't you deal with that
Does it make you mad
Make you sad
(Wait-you were already sad)
Or make you look miserable and hopeless
Like you look to me
For so long you brainwashed me
Made me think all I had was you
Wow what a prize
Like a toy in the cracker jack box
Cheap, lowsy, fun for a while
But ultimately a lame excuse for the real thing
You're not a real man
Just a sad excuse for a boy
So much for a second entry! =P I should write in this thing more often. Adios for now!
*~*Heather*~*
Hi
I suppose that this is my first entry. Hello. I really have nothing to say right now, but I might have something to say later on. Until then, adios!
*~*Heather*~*
Neplight's Friends